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Not on the first night!

Not on the first night!

We have all been told this by a beautiful woman who we’ve hit on for weeks or months before she finally agrees to go on a date. Cinema, theatre, fancy dinner.

It tortures us for days afterwards, we speak about it with colleagues at work: “What do you think? Do you think I have a chance?”

“Yes of course, go for it!” they reply.

You told her to meet you in a cafe, you made sure to shower, you’re clean-shaven and you put on the sexiest cologne you have… great. It’s going to go well.

She arrives, magnificent and classy, in a sexy dress but not too sexy, long nails, enchanting lipstick.

Your feel yourself melt and you’re under her charm all night.

During the dinner, you start to imagine what will happen next and prepare yourself for what is to come:

“At mine or at hers? Do I let her make the first move or should I be direct?”

You pay the bill, leave the restaurant and you gallantly offer to walk her home. She accepts. For you, this is proof that this girl is willing to sleep with you.

You arrive at her building, she turns towards you and says, “Thank you for this evening out”.

Your faces get closer and closer together and you kiss. Now you are ready to open the door with your foot and prepare yourself for a crazy night when you hear those fatal words…

“Never on the first night!” and she puts her index finger on your lips making you understand that she’s leaving you on that note…

But why? What is going on inside her head?



She will not sleep with you on the first date on principle

She does not want to give you the idea that she is an “easy” girl. Just because a guy offers her dinner does not mean that she will offer him her body… she’s worth much more than that.

Maybe she has religious principles (be aware that these religious girls will not sleep with you until marriage) or maybe her mother has repeatedly told her “darling, do not sleep with someone on the first date” over the years. Out of respect for her mother, therefore, she will never sleep with someone the first evening out.



She doesn’t want to be a “booty call”

She is looking for a serious relationship and does not want a man who leaves after he gets what he wants and never contacts her again. She wants to test you and to see if you are prepared to be patient if it means you’ll get her in the end. Show that you want her, not for her body, but because you foresee a serious relationship with her.

In this case, you need to exercise your patience, as some girls will wait until after many dates before agreeing to sleep with you. However, it will be worth the wait. It’s so much more exciting to get the privilege of sleeping with a woman after a struggle and you will find that you want it much more.



She is not in her “good period”

Yes, one time per month, there is a period of time (pun intended…) where females do not feel their best, especially for sexual activities. They will not directly say it as this is personal and intimate information but you must realise it and behave gentlemanly. Leave with discretion and kindness. She will be very grateful to you.
You may wonder “why would she accept to go on a date if she is not in a good physical condition…?” The answer is that these feminine problems do not stop her from going to the cinema, theatre or restaurant…



You turned her off…

On her side, she just wanted to have an enjoyable evening and why go further than that? After all, she has not had a sexual relationship for a year, since separating from her ex.

But you spoilt the evening by making one of these fatal mistakes:

– Eating noisily

– Starting to eat before her

– Not putting your coat around her shoulders when she told you that she was feeling chilly while you were walking her home

– Wearing your stripy boxers so when she invited you to come over to hers, she started laughing hysterically and all the charm is lost

– Being much too rough with your hands on her private parts, while she prefers tenderness, a massage, not an impatient bulldozer

– Having bad body odour or bad breath (You should not have eaten snails cooked with garlic…)

And of course the other things that can change the mind of a woman, even if you were really close to succeeding.

We have all heard of the case where a woman is in your bed, almost naked or is wearing a nightdress and whispers in your ear “not tonight!”. This does not stop you from cuddling her, giving her massages, being gentle, caressing her, and who knows… maybe she will not be able to resist….

What do you say? What do you do?

Above all do not offend her by making comments like “Do you think I paid the bill to wait like this?” “It’s been 4 times that we’ve gone out together and I am getting fed up…”

Key word: Patience

A woman appreciates your understanding, patience, discretion and respect. Judging from the way you carried out yourself on the first date, she will think about giving it to you the next time…


1 comment

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  1. Eleanor - 30 October 2015 at 11 h 37 min

    I’d never sleep with a guy on the first date, I’ve kissed too many frogs in the past to give myself up that easy xxx

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