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How to survive a long distance online relationship

How to survive a long distance online relationship

The great thing about internet dating is that you are no longer limited to the people you went to school with, people you work with and your neighbours. You no longer need to rely on your friends to matchmake for you and you no longer have to “just settle”. Perhaps your soulmate is on the other side of the world! In reality, people who live far away and experience different cultures on a day-to-day basis tend to be the most interesting people as you can learn a lot from them. There’s no small talk about the weather, who will be the next leader of the Labour party and of course the state of the economy. Rather, you can discuss the differences in food, lifestyle, transportation, language or dialects, etc.

A long distance relationship is a romantic link between two persons who live at such a distance apart that they cannot see each other very regularly. LDRs are more common now than ever with the boom in online dating sites and the rapid advancement in technology. LDRs aren’t for everyone and they require a huge amount of trust and dedication. Despite how difficult it is, this type of relationship is also extremely rewarding. In this article, we will discuss some top tips on how to survive an LDR and ensure a successful and fruitful relationship.

 

Keep in Contact

 

The fact that you aren’t forced to see each other everyday like couples that work together or live nearby means that you have to make the personal effort to keep in touch with your distant lover. Make the time to have Skype dates, give them an impromptu call just to say you love them, send cute texts, send love letters and little gifts in the post. There is something special about sending letters because you can touch the paper and feel closer to them. Send silly ecards at work and make voice notes at night. Send them loads of Snapchats so they can see where you spent your day and make videos so they can feel like they are with you for just a few seconds, which can make a huge difference. Make sure you’re keeping in contact with them every single day, not by obligation but through your love.

 

Be faithful

 

It is very easy to be jealous while in a long distance relationship. You’re not physically with your partner so it is natural to be scared that other people around her will take advantage of that and she may also make mistakes more easily due to all the sexual tension that she cannot release as you’re not around. An LDR works both ways, you have to be very confident in your partner and put a lot of trust in her, but you must also gain her trust! Show her that you’re faithful to the end. Don’t go out alone with people of the opposite sex, don’t put yourself in dangerous situations and be truthful to her when you do make mistakes. Don’t do things that you know she doesn’t like… if she is suspicious about the new girl at work, make sure you don’t lead her on in any way and try to avoid talking too much about this girl.

 

Make the effort

 

For some long-distance lovers, it is just not possible to see each other often, and fair enough. If you really love this person, you will not give up just because of the distance. Try to make a surprise visit as often as possible. We’re not saying to break the bank, but when you can it can really show them you love them and add some passion and excitement into your relationship.

Also make the effort to keep up-to-date with each other’s schedules. This is a way to keep your relationship very real and shows that you really care about your partner. Additionally, it avoids you accidently messaging your partner in the middle of a business meeting, big exam or interview, for example. Know their timetable so you can send messages like “I know you’re going to do amazingly in your exam! Remember I love you…” or “Good luck preparing for your work presentation, you’re gonna rock!”.

 

Think before you type

 

The fact that texting and messaging are your main means of communication mean that you have to extra careful with what you say. It is a known fact that sometimes we can type things that we would never say in real life. You must be extra cautious, therefore, when you are angry and you’re texting your lover. In fact, we would advise not messaging them at all until you’ve calmed down and you are willing to discuss with them (note the use of the word “discuss” and not “reason”). When you’re feeling upset with the person, perhaps send a text saying “I feel like we should discuss this matter later. Can you ring me in about 2 hours?”. This way, you both are more likely to come to a compromise without having a huge argument.

 

Keep it real

 

Sometimes it can be hard to remember that this person that you’re in love with is a real person, not just a screen. This is why it is important to make the effort to see each other as much as possible. It is also important to schedule time to spend together even if it is just eating at the same time with Skype on, like a dinner date. Use this time to discuss things on your heart, not just how your day went and your struggles at work. Make plans for the future together and make sure you include the person in your everyday life. Talk about them with your friends, put a picture of you together as your phone lock screen and don’t flirt with other people. Maybe you can gift your partner something that belongs to you- a cologne you know she likes and you’ve finished half of, the CD you played in your car the last time she came over, a ring that is part of a matching set so you can feel connected…

1 comment

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  1. Ellie - 30 October 2015 at 11 h 28 min

    I found my husband online and he lived in Montreal and I was in Birmingham and it was awful and difficult but now we’re together and i wouldn’t change it for the world

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