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How do you start a conversation online?

How do you start a conversation online?

Whether it’s on a chat or through e-mail, starting a conversation online is a crucial moment. The first impression that you give will determine how the conversation and, in time, relationship will go. A good first impression is essential for any kind of relationship.

Women are hunted down 24/7 on the internet. If you’re finding the competition too tough, it’s probably because you don’t know how to do seduce skillfully. The fairer sex receives a countless number of offers online from “fattys”, perverts and hopeless frustrated divorcees… She won’t hesitate to put these lost cases into the friendzone. Why waste her time? Use this knowledge to be the exact opposite of these men… Be original, funny, relaxed, reassuring and draw her in. Be the one that she notices!

Follow the example of the fisherman, equip yourself with a lot of patience to wait for the perfect one. Present the finest bait, allow the fish to take a bite, gently hook it without breaking the line and retrieve your unique and perfect fish. It’s a method you can only master by practicing.


1) Go well prepared: stay positive and be yourself

The mindset of a seductor must always be positive. It is useless to dwell upon the times you chatted up someone online without success. Don’t discourage yourself like this. Use these moments to test out your pick up lines and see which ones work the best. Don’t overthink when writing to someone, be spontaneous and let yourself relax. Release the pressure! Tell yourself instead that there are so many women on the dating site, so any mistakes or unsuccessful relationships don’t really count. A good way of releasing stress is to stay yourself and have several conversations at the same time: you will be obliged to respond quickly to each one so you won’t have time time overthink or stress out.

Don’t set the bar too high, you may end up depressing yourself for no reason. Know how to appreciate small victories and enjoy them!


2) Present the finest bait: a neat profile

To have a well-organised and nicely laid-out profile page is a basic unsaid law of dating websites. It attracts women like a magnet, as most women may agree that to have a neat profile is a fine reflection of an organised, well-kept and classy man. Every girl wants a classy man. Present yourself in an original way and be clear about what you are looking for on the site. Above all, have a classy profile photo.


3) Throw the hook: the pick up line

You can start a conversation in two different ways. One way is to use well thought-out phrases that are eye-catching and maybe even a little cliché that will certainly express your interest. Another way is to be very spontaneous and joyful without going to too much trouble. Above all, let yourself be guided by your originality and humour. The women on dating sites are totally put-off by messages starting with “Hi wussup? U r so cute bb”. Here is a little bit of advice to ensure you stand out from this crowd:

Take care of your spelling and avoid abbreviations: this will make you seem well educated and good upbringing.

Do not hesitate to start a conversation with a bit of humour. “Hello there, I am a well-known clairvoyant and I see great things in your future. I can see that if you respond to my message it will be the start of a beautiful love story ;)”.

Some girls will ignore this harmless bluff. Those who respond to you will certainly be those worth keeping, the ones who will interest you.

For your catchphrase, find an original angle. Take inspiration from her member profile for example, and her love of Amsterdam. “Hi there. What do you say to taking a walk with me to the house of Anne Frank? Or along the Amstel?” is a sentence that will definitely get a reaction or response. After all, that’s what you’re aiming for!

Even if you feel like the first message didn’t generate the best response, persevere! It will help to lower the barriers that the girls online have to put up to protect themselves. Reassure her of your intentions, make her understand that you’re a normal person (not a pervert like most men online…) and that you just want to have a conversation with her…. Right?


4) Let her nibble the bait: stay calm

You feel like you’ve broken the ice with your wonderful pick up lines. She is slightly interested for the moment, but nothing more. Don’t try to grab hold of her and do not bombard her with questions about her life story. You will scare her off by doing so. Let her come to you instead and then carefully and slowly release “the hook”.

Make sure to arouse curiosity about yourself. Create mystery surrounding your activities and don’t reveal everything in the beginning. Don’t write out your entire CV on your member profile. Rather, put a vague and simple sentence such as “I take many holidays by boat”, “I am a musician” or “I go to the nightclub a lot” instead of full details of what you did and GPS co-ordinates of every place you’ve been to. Leave something to be discussed in a verbal exchange, but try to maintain the mystery and suspense even if you do chat. The third degree is sometimes misunderstood, adding some smileys is necessary to soften your approach. However, don’t overdo it, as you don’t want to seem immature. As always, be funny, relaxed and avoid any controversial topics (politics, etc.)  Girls just wanna have fun…


5) The hook: what is it?

There is no magic potion to get a girl’s number or even a date with her. Even if you apply all the advice in the world, you will still come across unexpected situations. Have confidence in yourself and your feelings. If you feel like the conversation is going well, then relax yourself and don’t let it get to your head. You can even catch up on the latest sports news online while she is typing, to think about something else and release the pressure.

Asking her out on a date or asking for her number is obviously the next step. Be subtle, else you could risk scaring her off. During the chat, try to gently introduce ideas and things that you could do together in the future. For example, if the girl tells you that she speaks Spanish fluently, ask her to tutor you for a few classes as she loves the culture and language so much. In this way, you have an excuse to spend time with her and you’re including yourself in her future plans.

Don’t kid yourself by saying that all women are searching for a date. Some may only want to chat. Always keep in mind that an online conversation is meant to stay fun and friendly. We will say it again, as it is incredibly important: have a good opening line, release the pressure, be funny, be yourself and be relaxed and you will surely meet and chat with many beautiful ladies online.


Share your ideas
  1. Liz - 8 October 2015 at 15 h 27 min

    hey girls can make the first move too

  2. Adam H. - 9 October 2015 at 9 h 49 min

    thanks for this article top dating because I was always quite shy to start a conversation before

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