The first date: 10 things you should definitely avoid!
Today is the day of your first date with a girl you met on a top dating website. You have a really good feeling about her. This beautiful girl agreed to meet you so you have to make sure she won’t regret it. Whatever you do, don’t panic.
To make sure everything goes smoothly on the first date, there are certain things to avoid doing. If you take the advice below, you’re guaranteed to have a great time. Once you get started and begin to get comfortable, all you will have to do is enjoy yourself until the end…
1) Not being happy in your life
It might come as a surprise to you that lacking true happiness from within is the first thing to avoid. However, it’s an extremely important aspect to consider as being radiant from within gives you a certain allure. Maintaining your lifestyle, having an interesting professional life and engaging in numerous social activities allow you to be happy in your life. Happiness doesn’t lie, it shows right through you. If you are currently experiencing a difficult period in your life, it is a given that you won’t “shine” on your first date, which could result in you losing confidence in yourself and sinking further and further into sadness. So, don’t waste a single second, go for it: make your life a party and boost your morale by engaging in activities that make you happy!
2) Trying to predict how things will play out in your head a million times
This is the best way to mess up your first date and disconnect yourself from the reality of things: if you spend your day thinking “this date is crucial to my love life”, you’re putting yourself under unnecessary stress and setting yourself up to fail. Don’t think too much about it! You will never be able to imagine what will really happen, so accept this fact from now and be spontaneous in the actual moment.
How the first date goes depends on your mindset, so you need to be mentally prepared. Spend the day as you usually do, don’t change your daily routine and approach this date as you normally would. Choose an outfit that makes you look and feel good.
3) See her for the first time and panic
You’re at the place where you scheduled to meet. You see her and, due to the effect of her charm, you start to swoon. Never let shyness win the psychological war. Immediately stop idealising her, stop imagining her in dirty positions. Tell yourself that this woman is a human being and behind her strong look of confidence hides a woman who just wants to enjoy life and feel protected. This is exactly what you’re here for. “Forget that you’re unlucky and get a move on!” perfectly summarizes what you need to do when you see her for the first time. Remind yourself that the first move counts. Stay relaxed and everything will be fine.
4) Trying to take charge of everything
You’ve greeted each other. Traditionally, it is up to the man to take the initiative and ensure the smooth running of events. However, your role isn’t to work through a schedule point by point or to bombard the girl with questions on what she wishes to do. Take a calm walk while having a discussion and try to maintain a relaxed approach. Know how to adapt to the situation. If the girl that you’re with is enjoying the walk then there’s no need to do something else. However, it’s down to you to lead her when walking through the streets. It’s the opportunity to show your ability to be a protector in the face of the hostility of traffic and to initiate physical contact with the beautiful girl. Always have a plan for the sequence of the evening but do not be afraid to let the evening run itself. You may very well spend the night in your favourite restaurant or even in the bar your date herself frequents!
5) Approaching poor topics of conversation
Whether you like it or not, the subjects of conversation during a first date do not have to be highly intellectual. It’s enough simply to talk about her, her musical tastes or of this cute little doggy that is passing in front of you. Vary the subjects and do not hesitate to share your points of view, without ever initiating a heated debate. Without being boring and unopinionated, try to stay as neutral as possible with your opinions. It is pointless to mention your boundless admiration for Micheal McIntyre or Boris Johnson. Politics is obviously a subject to avoid, as it risks driving a wedge between you two.
6) Give a negative image of yourself
If you have secrets that you need to get off your chest about difficulties in your love life, share them with your best friend. You’re here to seduce this woman in front of you and not to confess your secrets to her. She is not your psychologist for a night. You do not want to appear as someone who is in dire need of emotional reassurance all the time as that may be too difficult for her to handle.
Also pay attention to your gentlemanly manners. Make space for her at the entrance of the restaurant so she can enter before you. Abstain from smoking too much, especially if she is not a smoker. Do not drink too much unless it brings you closer…. Put your phone on silent. However, take your phone out one time during the date to show that you’re social. Be mannerly at the table, eat properly and use your cutlery. The bill does not have to be a problem, as you would have made sure to pretend to go to the toilet so that you could pay the bill without her knowing. If the lady takes offence, seize the opportunity to ask her to “pay off her debts” and buy you a drink…
7) Not mentioning the things you have in common
Bringing up the things you both have in common is a means of gaining many points with your beautiful date. It isn’t essential to talk to her about buying her a detached house, for example. Don’t go too far. Rather, make the conversation about the things that interest her. If she talks about her passion for China, for example, promise her to take her to a small Chinese shop nearby that you know well. Make her offers like this in a relaxed way so that she does not feel obliged and uncomfortable.
Even if this strategy is not totally infallible, it will at least allow you to know whether or not your date likes you. By talking about activities to do together in the future, you have a means of casually including yourself in the girl’s planner and, therefore, her life. In this way, you will become more and more familiar with each other.
8) Neglecting this saying: girls just wanna have fun
It is said that when one makes a woman laugh, one makes it halfway into her bed. Be funny, it cannot be said enough. We are not asking you to make jokes non-stop but rather to be capable of maintaining a good ambiance and throwing in a few witty remarks. Know how to bring out the comical aspect of certain things you experience while spending time together. In using humour, you showcase your intellect and your timing. If you feel like your humour is appreciated, continue to use it, not forgetting the fact that you’re not out with your friends.
9) Not showing character
Being overly sweet and submissive is a certain cause of failure during a first date. Sadly, it is also very easy to fall into the trap and behaving exactly like that. Wanting to please her, men may agree with their dates on all subjects and leave her to have her way, without saying anything, for the rest of the evening. Women are not looking for a men who are just unopinionated followers, otherwise all they would need is a sex toy.
Rather, try to be defiant, show her that you are decisive and don’t say “Amen” to everything she says. In doing so, you make her feel a bit unsettled and show her that you’re with her by choice and not by necessity. Note that it can be disastrous to be excessively defiant. Don’t be old-fashioned or crazy about tiny details. Show that you’re comfortable interacting with other people who will interact with you in the evening. Your beautiful date will be observing you, don’t forget. And she will appreciate seeing you maintaining social relationships.
10) Let’s talk about sex…
If your goal for the night is to take your date into your bed, do not forget to approach some subjects with a sexual overtone. The essential thing is to do so with precaution. In particular, never make hints: these hints could fall flat and cause an awkwardness between you two.
Rather, prioritize a open adult discussion without trying to push her to do things you would enjoy or by means of a “truth or dare” game for adults. Learn progressively about her tastes and do not pester her about potential anal sex. Talking about sex must above all be a means of removing an aura of sacredness about it and no longer allowing it to be considered taboo between you.